dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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