It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
