i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
