all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
