you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
where am i from again
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
