I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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