The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
