I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
