So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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