My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
