Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
