he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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