R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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