Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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