All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize