Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
