Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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