don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
