never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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