yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
