How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize