Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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