You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
