I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
