We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
