yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
