In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
