Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
