The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
