thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
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