dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
this hospital has no fireball
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
