Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
