i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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