gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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