Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.

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(563): View more from Iowa

Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?

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(805): View more from California

just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.

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(714): View more from California

i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..

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(304): View more from West Virginia

yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.

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(847): View more from Illinois

he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?

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(714): View more from California

And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless

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(631): View more from New York

I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.

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