Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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