I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
