He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
