Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
