how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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