Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
