Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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