You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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