I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
