i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
What a dumb baby whore.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm like, not good at living.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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