Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I AM VODKA MAN
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize