my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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