either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
