hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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