Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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