Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
