No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
