i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
