his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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