Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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