dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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