Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
