I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
