I'm eating all of the evidence.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
