I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
