Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
