Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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